May we please remind our discerning and intelligent (?) readers that YOU HAVE BEEN THOROUGHLY WARNED OF THE DANGERS OF THIS PAGE.
~Thank you.
~Thank you.
Theory 1: Humanoid bats/bat-like humans
There is a possible theory that if natural selection occurs on the human species long enough, humans will eventually learn to fly. Perhaps the first 'flier' that is of human flesh would be of a mutated variant, where its body would develop an excessive amount of skin extending between the arms and legs. Thus, like their fellow mammalian bat, this mutated human would be able to increase their surface area when exposed to air drag, enough to be able to fly.
The mutant would then preferably reproduce with a very thin and tall human, hopefully producing enough offspring to widen the gene pool. Some of these children would possess both the wings mutation and the light frame from their parents thus becoming even more successful fliers than the original parent. Humanity at this point would have mastered cloning and cell preservation techniques long after apoptosis and collect this new gene combination of flying to inject into the rest of the population (or at least the ethically and morally shameless).
Once there is a greater rise in the numbers of natural fliers, these advanced human species would then construct an exclusive airborne utopia 'there's a dreamy world up there' that can hover and move around in the sky (no James Cameron, you are NOT entitled to claim floating islands as your idea). These fliers, having established a highly complex civilisation, would then proceed to adopt diverging morals from their apish, land dwelling ancestors. Frequent natural disasters will of course, lower the sites of terrestrial human settlements and soon many will be forced to 'spread your wings and take to the sky'.
The mutant would then preferably reproduce with a very thin and tall human, hopefully producing enough offspring to widen the gene pool. Some of these children would possess both the wings mutation and the light frame from their parents thus becoming even more successful fliers than the original parent. Humanity at this point would have mastered cloning and cell preservation techniques long after apoptosis and collect this new gene combination of flying to inject into the rest of the population (or at least the ethically and morally shameless).
Once there is a greater rise in the numbers of natural fliers, these advanced human species would then construct an exclusive airborne utopia 'there's a dreamy world up there' that can hover and move around in the sky (no James Cameron, you are NOT entitled to claim floating islands as your idea). These fliers, having established a highly complex civilisation, would then proceed to adopt diverging morals from their apish, land dwelling ancestors. Frequent natural disasters will of course, lower the sites of terrestrial human settlements and soon many will be forced to 'spread your wings and take to the sky'.
Theory 2: Hermaphrodite Hair Colour
Tuesday 16-Dec-14
I was considering typing this article up before I had lunch, but my sanity levels were very low. In other words, my insanity levels were pretty high. As to not cause our readers any emotional/physical/psychological discomfort, I had lunch and then wrote up the article. See, Bishie? I can be a kind-hearted, warm and socially conscious individual. I allowed you all to avoid your deaths at the hands of Badly Written Prose.
To put it in a graph, Sir Percival’s sanity in relation to his need for food:
I was considering typing this article up before I had lunch, but my sanity levels were very low. In other words, my insanity levels were pretty high. As to not cause our readers any emotional/physical/psychological discomfort, I had lunch and then wrote up the article. See, Bishie? I can be a kind-hearted, warm and socially conscious individual. I allowed you all to avoid your deaths at the hands of Badly Written Prose.
To put it in a graph, Sir Percival’s sanity in relation to his need for food:
Now that I have eliminated any form of hunger-induced insanity, let’s begin with the actual article. Note that it’s been heavily edited from the original, but the general gist of it is the same.
The Theory of Hermaphrodites and their Hair Colour
At first, all hermaphroditic organisms are born with white hair, with absolutely no pigmentation. Additionally, the body fluids of such organisms have a concentrated colouring which may permanently induce melanin production in other hermaphroditic organisms. Duplication of a certain genotype upon a single he-she-he organism will result on no change i.e. if a hermaphrodite is dyed a particular genotype once and gains the colour of that liquid, it will not respond if the same liquid is added again. There will be no colour change.
The Shedding of the Endometrium Lining
In hermaphroditic organisms, the endometrium lining is shed monthly. This is similar to a regular XX genotype woman. However, as opposed to women, hermaphrodites shed the lining in one go. The process is as such: the penis is erect, no matter if the hermaphrodite is dominant or submissive. Through this erect penis, the blood is shed as an ejaculation. Normally the driving force behind a regular for-reproductive/pleasure-purposes-only ejaculation makes for a pretty mediocre spray. A metre at most, if certain VS novels are to be believed.
*coughcough*
ANYWAY, if a hermaphrodite has been sexually aroused beforehand and the shedding of the endometrium lining coincides, then this arousal will bring additional force to the surge. This makes the height of ejaculation to be usually about 2 m high. Enough to splurt itself into an adjacent lavatory cubicle. Not pleasant for the occupant of said cubicle at all.
The Process of Dye Application
Dying hair in this way is perfectly acceptable amongst the hermaphrodite population. However, the method of dying (and stigmas associated with each method) differs amongst populations. A hermaphrodite with a light hair colour will generally be assumed to have very few sexual partners. Those with darker hair are assumed to be more promiscuous.
An affectionate couple may take a gentle approach to dying each other’s hair as a display of mutual affection. However, a lustful…rougher…couple (or a group of people) may choose a more violent and sadistic approach.
The more submissive hermaphrodite sucks off the dominant hermaphrodite at the time of endometrium lining shedding. This causes the dominant partner to be aroused, and proceeds to ejaculate with frightening force onto the scalp of the more submissive partner. The blood flow is intense and permeates every hair of the submissive partner.
Note that as the hermaphrodite’s hair is further exposed to different individuals’ blood, the hair acquires the colour of blood (more often a reddish brown than all-out fire engine red). As more endometrium ejaculations are encountered, hair continually becomes darker and darker until being completely black.
In a (rather sick) sense, this is a good thing. The blood provides nutrients for hair growth, resulting in silky, smooth, heavenly locks worthy of a L’Oreal commercial. Also why placenta and umbilical cord beauty creams are on the market.
There. The more you know!
~Sir Percival
The Theory of Hermaphrodites and their Hair Colour
At first, all hermaphroditic organisms are born with white hair, with absolutely no pigmentation. Additionally, the body fluids of such organisms have a concentrated colouring which may permanently induce melanin production in other hermaphroditic organisms. Duplication of a certain genotype upon a single he-she-he organism will result on no change i.e. if a hermaphrodite is dyed a particular genotype once and gains the colour of that liquid, it will not respond if the same liquid is added again. There will be no colour change.
The Shedding of the Endometrium Lining
In hermaphroditic organisms, the endometrium lining is shed monthly. This is similar to a regular XX genotype woman. However, as opposed to women, hermaphrodites shed the lining in one go. The process is as such: the penis is erect, no matter if the hermaphrodite is dominant or submissive. Through this erect penis, the blood is shed as an ejaculation. Normally the driving force behind a regular for-reproductive/pleasure-purposes-only ejaculation makes for a pretty mediocre spray. A metre at most, if certain VS novels are to be believed.
*coughcough*
ANYWAY, if a hermaphrodite has been sexually aroused beforehand and the shedding of the endometrium lining coincides, then this arousal will bring additional force to the surge. This makes the height of ejaculation to be usually about 2 m high. Enough to splurt itself into an adjacent lavatory cubicle. Not pleasant for the occupant of said cubicle at all.
The Process of Dye Application
Dying hair in this way is perfectly acceptable amongst the hermaphrodite population. However, the method of dying (and stigmas associated with each method) differs amongst populations. A hermaphrodite with a light hair colour will generally be assumed to have very few sexual partners. Those with darker hair are assumed to be more promiscuous.
An affectionate couple may take a gentle approach to dying each other’s hair as a display of mutual affection. However, a lustful…rougher…couple (or a group of people) may choose a more violent and sadistic approach.
The more submissive hermaphrodite sucks off the dominant hermaphrodite at the time of endometrium lining shedding. This causes the dominant partner to be aroused, and proceeds to ejaculate with frightening force onto the scalp of the more submissive partner. The blood flow is intense and permeates every hair of the submissive partner.
Note that as the hermaphrodite’s hair is further exposed to different individuals’ blood, the hair acquires the colour of blood (more often a reddish brown than all-out fire engine red). As more endometrium ejaculations are encountered, hair continually becomes darker and darker until being completely black.
In a (rather sick) sense, this is a good thing. The blood provides nutrients for hair growth, resulting in silky, smooth, heavenly locks worthy of a L’Oreal commercial. Also why placenta and umbilical cord beauty creams are on the market.
There. The more you know!
~Sir Percival