The Lamington
Inspired and based on a real person. A certain, old, nosy, obnoxious, and old (again, because, DAMN, she's old) time-winder that sucked balls.
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The old man Lamington walked into the classroom with a tottering gait. The entire classroom glared briefly at his frail figure before continuing to act like the hormone driven, feral primates they were.
His thin and bony hands that probably hinted severe arthritis placed Lamington's held possessions on the table while his blue (cataract-diagnosed) eyes stared murderously at the disorientated classroom. Cracked lips opened as the old man shouted:
"RIGHT YOU LOT! THAT'S ENOUGH!"
Talk about ear-deafening when he, the Lamington, was possessed with a hearing impairment.
"Butt in, why don't you, old man," muttered Jacob under his breath. Rudi snickered in silent agreement. It was normal that Jacob or Rudi make snarky comments towards their old English teacher as he burst their eardrums on a daily basis.
"Seriously where does that old timer even get the energy to scream like a military sergeant?" said Jacob later on, during their bludging English period.
"Who knows? Probably has a hidden feeding tube in one of his pockets," replied Rudi practicing his handwriting using obscenities at the back of an old book.
"He probably escaped from the mental illness hospital to feed on the tears of students for sustenance," suggested Jacob. Rudi forced another mocking laugh before returning to the paper of whatever he wrote about during bludge time. Normally, Jacob would have decided to turn to Alphonse and taunt his afro as a fun source of entertainment but the old man swiftly walked in between their desks, peering nosily at what Rudi was scribbling. Hardening his gaze he lifted his hand to snatch Rudi's paper. Understanding the dangerous situation he was in, Rudi looked up innocently, tucking the paper quickly underneath his open English book.
"Sir?"
Rudi forced a puzzled expression while Jacob pretended to resume his imaginary English work.
Lamington narrowed his beady blue eyes.
"Have you finished your work?" he asked shrewdly.
Have you finished dying yet? Jacob internally fumed. Rudi nodded and showed the old sticky beak his written response to some pointless English-related questions. Old as he was, Lamington managed to pick up the book with a frail hand that was succumbing to melanoma. He carefully read what Rudi had hastily written.
"Your answers are very brief," he commented. "You need to put more detail in your work and answers."
Jacob rolled his eyes as he flipped toanother page at his exercise book.
Teacher, you suck. You've probably never got laid at all. In your frustration you turn to torturing innocent lives for your personal gain. Yet in your efforts, you can barely hold minimal control over these rowdish retards and clowns.
A pencil case flew briefly in the air before smacking a random student's head.
"You motherf*****!"
"WHO THREW THAT?!" Lamington bellowed, briefly turning around to glare at the class, "Whoever it is will be PUNISHED! I'm calling your parents!"
As a power abuser, wow, you do great in threatening us in the stupidest of ways. As a nursing home escapee, I'm guessing there's a urinal bag you carry around with you too.
Thoughts of annoyance skimmed through Jacob's irritated mind as Lamington continued his chase for false classroom justice before returning to his criticism at Rudi's work. Rudi just stared back with a neutral expression trying to keep his mouth. When the old git finally took his leave from their desks, Rudi turned to his best friend with utter realization.
"Did you see it?" Rudi said in awe, "the skin cancer on his NOSE?!"
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The old man Lamington walked into the classroom with a tottering gait. The entire classroom glared briefly at his frail figure before continuing to act like the hormone driven, feral primates they were.
His thin and bony hands that probably hinted severe arthritis placed Lamington's held possessions on the table while his blue (cataract-diagnosed) eyes stared murderously at the disorientated classroom. Cracked lips opened as the old man shouted:
"RIGHT YOU LOT! THAT'S ENOUGH!"
Talk about ear-deafening when he, the Lamington, was possessed with a hearing impairment.
"Butt in, why don't you, old man," muttered Jacob under his breath. Rudi snickered in silent agreement. It was normal that Jacob or Rudi make snarky comments towards their old English teacher as he burst their eardrums on a daily basis.
"Seriously where does that old timer even get the energy to scream like a military sergeant?" said Jacob later on, during their bludging English period.
"Who knows? Probably has a hidden feeding tube in one of his pockets," replied Rudi practicing his handwriting using obscenities at the back of an old book.
"He probably escaped from the mental illness hospital to feed on the tears of students for sustenance," suggested Jacob. Rudi forced another mocking laugh before returning to the paper of whatever he wrote about during bludge time. Normally, Jacob would have decided to turn to Alphonse and taunt his afro as a fun source of entertainment but the old man swiftly walked in between their desks, peering nosily at what Rudi was scribbling. Hardening his gaze he lifted his hand to snatch Rudi's paper. Understanding the dangerous situation he was in, Rudi looked up innocently, tucking the paper quickly underneath his open English book.
"Sir?"
Rudi forced a puzzled expression while Jacob pretended to resume his imaginary English work.
Lamington narrowed his beady blue eyes.
"Have you finished your work?" he asked shrewdly.
Have you finished dying yet? Jacob internally fumed. Rudi nodded and showed the old sticky beak his written response to some pointless English-related questions. Old as he was, Lamington managed to pick up the book with a frail hand that was succumbing to melanoma. He carefully read what Rudi had hastily written.
"Your answers are very brief," he commented. "You need to put more detail in your work and answers."
Jacob rolled his eyes as he flipped toanother page at his exercise book.
Teacher, you suck. You've probably never got laid at all. In your frustration you turn to torturing innocent lives for your personal gain. Yet in your efforts, you can barely hold minimal control over these rowdish retards and clowns.
A pencil case flew briefly in the air before smacking a random student's head.
"You motherf*****!"
"WHO THREW THAT?!" Lamington bellowed, briefly turning around to glare at the class, "Whoever it is will be PUNISHED! I'm calling your parents!"
As a power abuser, wow, you do great in threatening us in the stupidest of ways. As a nursing home escapee, I'm guessing there's a urinal bag you carry around with you too.
Thoughts of annoyance skimmed through Jacob's irritated mind as Lamington continued his chase for false classroom justice before returning to his criticism at Rudi's work. Rudi just stared back with a neutral expression trying to keep his mouth. When the old git finally took his leave from their desks, Rudi turned to his best friend with utter realization.
"Did you see it?" Rudi said in awe, "the skin cancer on his NOSE?!"
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