Chapter 1- The Horse
Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom by the retarded name of Camelot, Sir Lancelot was up to his usual tricks of mocking King Arthur. Apparently, the poor king (I think not) was having swordplay when Sir Lancelot kicked him in the thousand years of death and Arthur (moaning in pain) stumbled back and Sir Lancelot merely watched as he staggered stupidly in the pail behind him. Crash! went Arthur and Splash! went the pail of water sending droplets everywhere.
"Dear me, my lord, I am very sorry this happened," sneered Sir Lancelot, knowing that Arthur was going to mistake it as a guilty face. He hauled himself to his feet, still dripping wet and stalked to his castle in a flustered manner. Sir Lancelot watched with that never ending grin and howled with laughter as he heard a door slam somewhere in the castle. He always had known with his laughs of mockery that every time Arthur retreated to his palace he would sulk and cry (on his mother's lap I suggest) in his royal bedroom (he didn't want Guinevere to see how she could ever marry a stuck-up crybaby like him).
At that precise moment, when Sir Lancelot was on the floor, crying with laughter(he looks mad; I know), Sir Percival came with a cold look on his face.
"Lancelot!" he barked, "How can you be so cruel? And swordplay. Foul tricks, indeed!"
Sir Lancelot scrambled to his feet, scowling unpleasantly.
"My friend, I do this every time! What's so special in this one?"
Sir Percival stepped a little closer to Sir Lancelot, the frown growing deeper.
"While you were howling loudly with laughter, our dear horses got frightened and escaped! Now how do we get back to Knight Brigade without getting eaten by dragons or killed by centaurs?!" Sir Lancelot's face darkened. He was rethinking about what he did. Immediately, he regretted that ever happening (not King Arthur; he loved it actually) and wondered what he could do to repay this mistake. Sir Lancelot knew it was no easy task to travel through a magic-infested region. He shuddered thinking of being fried by an angered dragon. Sir Percival was watching him intently, a now worried expression replacing his glumness.
"Perhaps we could do something like... get a new horse?" suggested Sir Lancelot weakly. Sir Percival snorted.
"Objection Sir Lancelot. Horses come rare in these parts," said Sir Percival. Sir Lancelot frowned, racking his brains trying to force out some useful information. After a moment of silence, he stood up heavily and opened his mouth to admit defeat. At that precise moment, a hairy old man leapt fiercely on the ground and raced hurriedly away from something. That something was an old woman, shouting angrily as she waved her walking stick in the air.
"Come back here, you stupid cow spit! You still owe me a single crumb of bread!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs. The knights leaped with surprise only to see a furious someone with another fleeing someone (or should I say a fleeing something). Sir Percival drew out his sword and hurried to the old woman's aid.
"Dear citizen of Camelot, why are you screaming?!" exclaimed Sir Percival. The old woman stopped shouting (thank god) and glared back at Sir Percival ready to shriek again.
"Why?! I'll tell you why! That lumbering old oaf, Free Willy escaped without paying his debt after I gave him a single crumb of bread!" Sir Percival shivered at her as Sir Lancelot hurried over.
"Can't you let a single crumb go?" said Sir Lancelot. The woman glared at him, her eyes looking as though they were about to pop out of her face.
"Are you crazy?! If I do that, than Free Willy will come back and ask for more and more and more and still won't pay its stupid debt! Now if you mind, AFTER HIM!!!"
The knights looked shocked. Obviously they didn't look knight-like, at least not without their horses. But they ran anyway, still frightened of the old woman.
***
A minute later, they caught Free Willy hiding in a fish market, and dragged him out into the street. Apparently nobody was interested in two knights grunting with effort as they tried to keep a steady hold on a beggar with a fish in its mouth.
"Look here peasant. I, Sir Percival demand a response to why you tend to not pay your many debts. AND SPIT THAT FISH OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!" growled Sir Percival. Free Willy let the fish tumble out of his mouth as he protested.
"I HAVE been working my HARDEST to work that debt off! You think I'm just a piece of lazy scum that sits about having fun hiding and eating?" exclaimed Free Willy fiercely.
"Apparently," muttered Sir Lancelot. Free Willy swung his head desperately, spraying the knights with dirt from his ragged hair.
"Please, let me go! I don't wanna go to prison!!! Let me pay my debt somehow! Please! I'll do anything! Anything!" moaned Free Willy. Sir Percival looked from Free Willy's pleading eyes to the rotting fish on the ground. And then it occurred to him that there could be something Free Willy could do.
"Are you up for a little servant work?" smirked Sir Percival. Sir Lancelot had also thought of the idea and towered over Free Willy, who cowered in their shadows. Free Willy trembled as he stood up.
"What work? If it's servant work like you said, I'm up for it. After all I've had plenty of practice from that old woman." The knights' grins broadened.
"Oh this won't be like the previous work you've did. Now gather your things for a little travel. That is if you have things."
Free Willy gulped.
_______________________________End of Chapter____________________________________________
"Dear me, my lord, I am very sorry this happened," sneered Sir Lancelot, knowing that Arthur was going to mistake it as a guilty face. He hauled himself to his feet, still dripping wet and stalked to his castle in a flustered manner. Sir Lancelot watched with that never ending grin and howled with laughter as he heard a door slam somewhere in the castle. He always had known with his laughs of mockery that every time Arthur retreated to his palace he would sulk and cry (on his mother's lap I suggest) in his royal bedroom (he didn't want Guinevere to see how she could ever marry a stuck-up crybaby like him).
At that precise moment, when Sir Lancelot was on the floor, crying with laughter(he looks mad; I know), Sir Percival came with a cold look on his face.
"Lancelot!" he barked, "How can you be so cruel? And swordplay. Foul tricks, indeed!"
Sir Lancelot scrambled to his feet, scowling unpleasantly.
"My friend, I do this every time! What's so special in this one?"
Sir Percival stepped a little closer to Sir Lancelot, the frown growing deeper.
"While you were howling loudly with laughter, our dear horses got frightened and escaped! Now how do we get back to Knight Brigade without getting eaten by dragons or killed by centaurs?!" Sir Lancelot's face darkened. He was rethinking about what he did. Immediately, he regretted that ever happening (not King Arthur; he loved it actually) and wondered what he could do to repay this mistake. Sir Lancelot knew it was no easy task to travel through a magic-infested region. He shuddered thinking of being fried by an angered dragon. Sir Percival was watching him intently, a now worried expression replacing his glumness.
"Perhaps we could do something like... get a new horse?" suggested Sir Lancelot weakly. Sir Percival snorted.
"Objection Sir Lancelot. Horses come rare in these parts," said Sir Percival. Sir Lancelot frowned, racking his brains trying to force out some useful information. After a moment of silence, he stood up heavily and opened his mouth to admit defeat. At that precise moment, a hairy old man leapt fiercely on the ground and raced hurriedly away from something. That something was an old woman, shouting angrily as she waved her walking stick in the air.
"Come back here, you stupid cow spit! You still owe me a single crumb of bread!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs. The knights leaped with surprise only to see a furious someone with another fleeing someone (or should I say a fleeing something). Sir Percival drew out his sword and hurried to the old woman's aid.
"Dear citizen of Camelot, why are you screaming?!" exclaimed Sir Percival. The old woman stopped shouting (thank god) and glared back at Sir Percival ready to shriek again.
"Why?! I'll tell you why! That lumbering old oaf, Free Willy escaped without paying his debt after I gave him a single crumb of bread!" Sir Percival shivered at her as Sir Lancelot hurried over.
"Can't you let a single crumb go?" said Sir Lancelot. The woman glared at him, her eyes looking as though they were about to pop out of her face.
"Are you crazy?! If I do that, than Free Willy will come back and ask for more and more and more and still won't pay its stupid debt! Now if you mind, AFTER HIM!!!"
The knights looked shocked. Obviously they didn't look knight-like, at least not without their horses. But they ran anyway, still frightened of the old woman.
***
A minute later, they caught Free Willy hiding in a fish market, and dragged him out into the street. Apparently nobody was interested in two knights grunting with effort as they tried to keep a steady hold on a beggar with a fish in its mouth.
"Look here peasant. I, Sir Percival demand a response to why you tend to not pay your many debts. AND SPIT THAT FISH OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!" growled Sir Percival. Free Willy let the fish tumble out of his mouth as he protested.
"I HAVE been working my HARDEST to work that debt off! You think I'm just a piece of lazy scum that sits about having fun hiding and eating?" exclaimed Free Willy fiercely.
"Apparently," muttered Sir Lancelot. Free Willy swung his head desperately, spraying the knights with dirt from his ragged hair.
"Please, let me go! I don't wanna go to prison!!! Let me pay my debt somehow! Please! I'll do anything! Anything!" moaned Free Willy. Sir Percival looked from Free Willy's pleading eyes to the rotting fish on the ground. And then it occurred to him that there could be something Free Willy could do.
"Are you up for a little servant work?" smirked Sir Percival. Sir Lancelot had also thought of the idea and towered over Free Willy, who cowered in their shadows. Free Willy trembled as he stood up.
"What work? If it's servant work like you said, I'm up for it. After all I've had plenty of practice from that old woman." The knights' grins broadened.
"Oh this won't be like the previous work you've did. Now gather your things for a little travel. That is if you have things."
Free Willy gulped.
_______________________________End of Chapter____________________________________________
Chapter 2- The Escape
Free Willy opened his tired eyes. 19 kilometers of trekking in the Mountain Chains of Camelot's South and they haven't even covered a hundredth of the distance between the palace and Knightworld.
"Get up," snapped Sir Lancelot and under his breath he added, "Pathetic". Free Willy (so unfree) jerked his head up irritably to the knight standing next to him. Sir Percival, standing on the other side, cast him an unpleasant frown.
The track was turning nasty. A few more hours of trekking and they only traveled one kilometer. The rocks were cutting Free Willy's feet, who was moaning in pain. Sir Lancelot sneered. Sir Percival looked glum. Free Willy moaned once more. They trudged on grimly with Free Willy dragging the heavy load on his skinny back.
"I think I'm going to explode," groaned Sir Percival.
"Pathetic. Three days of walking and only 20 kilometers is as far as we went," hissed Sir Lancelot. Sir Percival opened his mouth to argue that it was all Sir Lancelot's fault and in a moment, both knights were engaged in a discussion. They were in fact so engaged, that they hardly noticed Free Willy running, running away, free from the reins that bound his body and stinking mounds of wombat poo.
"Horse, get the fire ready,"ordered Sir Percival, who had broken from conversation because of an empty stomach.
"We're going to barbecue a crocagator!" grinned Sir Lancelot, who was also starving. But when they looked at where Free Willy stood a minute ago, their slave was gone. And so was their luggage.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" howled Sir Lancelot who fell on his knees. Sir Percival frowned. Everything just kept running away from them, even their luggage although it looked like it was impossible to escape with. At least they could find their luggage which could have been abandoned anywhere.
"What to do, what to do," sighed Sir Percival. He suddenly drew out his sword and pointed it in the direction of King Arthur's palace." It is likely that Free Willy took refuge to Camelot's palace. Our luggage will be there too." Sir Lancelot looked up.
"Okay,' he agreed bitterly.
"Get up," snapped Sir Lancelot and under his breath he added, "Pathetic". Free Willy (so unfree) jerked his head up irritably to the knight standing next to him. Sir Percival, standing on the other side, cast him an unpleasant frown.
The track was turning nasty. A few more hours of trekking and they only traveled one kilometer. The rocks were cutting Free Willy's feet, who was moaning in pain. Sir Lancelot sneered. Sir Percival looked glum. Free Willy moaned once more. They trudged on grimly with Free Willy dragging the heavy load on his skinny back.
"I think I'm going to explode," groaned Sir Percival.
"Pathetic. Three days of walking and only 20 kilometers is as far as we went," hissed Sir Lancelot. Sir Percival opened his mouth to argue that it was all Sir Lancelot's fault and in a moment, both knights were engaged in a discussion. They were in fact so engaged, that they hardly noticed Free Willy running, running away, free from the reins that bound his body and stinking mounds of wombat poo.
"Horse, get the fire ready,"ordered Sir Percival, who had broken from conversation because of an empty stomach.
"We're going to barbecue a crocagator!" grinned Sir Lancelot, who was also starving. But when they looked at where Free Willy stood a minute ago, their slave was gone. And so was their luggage.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" howled Sir Lancelot who fell on his knees. Sir Percival frowned. Everything just kept running away from them, even their luggage although it looked like it was impossible to escape with. At least they could find their luggage which could have been abandoned anywhere.
"What to do, what to do," sighed Sir Percival. He suddenly drew out his sword and pointed it in the direction of King Arthur's palace." It is likely that Free Willy took refuge to Camelot's palace. Our luggage will be there too." Sir Lancelot looked up.
"Okay,' he agreed bitterly.
Chapter 3 - The Hippodragon
Iit was a dreadfully long day. The exhausted knights collapsed to the floor.
"Uuurgh," groaned Sir Percival."A day of walking and we have not reached halfway to Camelot."
"This is like getting your feet seared by a hippodragon," moaned Sir Lancelot.
"It'll be more than simply your feet when we actually get there," sighed Sir Percival.
"Gah, curse that Free Willy for running away with our luggage. Plus we are TIRED!!" howled Sir Lancelot collapsing back on the forest floor.
"Ya know, let's play a game. A game about what we should do to Free Willy when we find him," suggested Sir Percival offhandedly. Sir Lancelot grinned.
"Let's see... He definitely deserves .... IRON BRANDING!!" he chuckled nastily. He was already picturing Free Willy getting scalded by a hot iron poker.
"Aaaah, yes. It would be so delightful," agreed Sir Percival, who had the exact image in his head of Sir Lancelot's. The two sadists chuckled to themselves for a minute and their trekking aches soothed a little. So the knights, still sore but determined, stumbled tiredly towards Camelot.
Hours passed and the knights were still stuck in the middle of nowhere. They had agreed to follow the wind because the knights were taught in Knightworld that the wind would help lost travelers to...
...
Evidently the knights were troublemakers and had not paid attention in class. As a result the knights didn't know where the wind truly led them to but they would not regret jousting during a learning lesson. Bludging to be precise.
Although the knights were going where the wind led them it wasn't until half an hour later that they realised that there was NO wind. But the knights were so ignorant to tell the difference between a hippodragon's sleeping breaths and the wind because they were still picturing endless torture to Free Willy.
"Free Willy!" cried Sir Lancelot. Sir Percival nodded dreamily.
"Yes, we do seem to have our heads in the clouds about Free Willy," said Sir Percival.
"Not my heads in the clouds but yours!" roared Sir Lancelot who was pointing to the direction at a huge gold mound of... scales.
"Hippodragon has Free Willy!" gasped Sir Percival snapping back to reality. It was than he saw what was next to Free Willy who was shivering where he stood.
"And our luggage," groaned Sir Percival. Sir Lancelot glared at the hippodragon who was still sleeping but lightly now.
There were two options now: grab the luggage next to the hippodragon or scram before it woke up. But if Free Willy was left to die their precious luggage with all their belongings would also be eaten.
The knights, for all their bravery, chose option one. If they had paid just a tiny bit of attention to their sword combat teacher they would have also made a go at option one but just do what it was meant: grab the rucksack and feed Free Willy to the hippodragon rather than fight it and then save their luggage. This case was not to be a hero like what the knights were stupidly doing but to think before you do so.
However it was too late for the knights to branch to that other semi-option. They were just too pigheaded, with their minds full of fame and glory.
"WAKE UP, HIPPODRAGON, OR TASTE OUR BLADES!" bellowed Sir Lancelot as he stupidly waved his glittery sword in the air at the irritated hippodragon, who had been rudely woken up. (I slightly feel sorry for the sword more than the knights and Free Willy's lives put together because although the sword was finely made, its fate ended up in some hippodragon's stomach due to carelessness of its worthless owner).
Sir Percival was also in klutz mode and he too was being a fool. The hippodragon rolled his eyes and thought,'Tryhards'.
With a shake of its gigantic head thinking of such embarrassing ambushers, it opened its mouth at an eighth of its full potential and gave a small breath. The breath was tiny but the impact was huge. A fireball the size of its body roared out and fired towards the knights who were still yelling stupid catchphrases.
"Die beast!"
"I will make you rue the day you ever existed!"
"I will behead that foul head of yours!"
"FOR WE ARE THE... AAAAARGH!"
The knights groaned in pain and dropped their burning swords. The fireball magically vanished in thin air and the hippodragon lunged effortlessly. It dropped a fierce paw with claws on top of the knights so they were caged in. Then it ate the swords without fear of getting stabbed on the inside. With a snap of its jaws it also swallowed Free Willy whole.
"Uuurgh," groaned Sir Percival."A day of walking and we have not reached halfway to Camelot."
"This is like getting your feet seared by a hippodragon," moaned Sir Lancelot.
"It'll be more than simply your feet when we actually get there," sighed Sir Percival.
"Gah, curse that Free Willy for running away with our luggage. Plus we are TIRED!!" howled Sir Lancelot collapsing back on the forest floor.
"Ya know, let's play a game. A game about what we should do to Free Willy when we find him," suggested Sir Percival offhandedly. Sir Lancelot grinned.
"Let's see... He definitely deserves .... IRON BRANDING!!" he chuckled nastily. He was already picturing Free Willy getting scalded by a hot iron poker.
"Aaaah, yes. It would be so delightful," agreed Sir Percival, who had the exact image in his head of Sir Lancelot's. The two sadists chuckled to themselves for a minute and their trekking aches soothed a little. So the knights, still sore but determined, stumbled tiredly towards Camelot.
Hours passed and the knights were still stuck in the middle of nowhere. They had agreed to follow the wind because the knights were taught in Knightworld that the wind would help lost travelers to...
...
Evidently the knights were troublemakers and had not paid attention in class. As a result the knights didn't know where the wind truly led them to but they would not regret jousting during a learning lesson. Bludging to be precise.
Although the knights were going where the wind led them it wasn't until half an hour later that they realised that there was NO wind. But the knights were so ignorant to tell the difference between a hippodragon's sleeping breaths and the wind because they were still picturing endless torture to Free Willy.
"Free Willy!" cried Sir Lancelot. Sir Percival nodded dreamily.
"Yes, we do seem to have our heads in the clouds about Free Willy," said Sir Percival.
"Not my heads in the clouds but yours!" roared Sir Lancelot who was pointing to the direction at a huge gold mound of... scales.
"Hippodragon has Free Willy!" gasped Sir Percival snapping back to reality. It was than he saw what was next to Free Willy who was shivering where he stood.
"And our luggage," groaned Sir Percival. Sir Lancelot glared at the hippodragon who was still sleeping but lightly now.
There were two options now: grab the luggage next to the hippodragon or scram before it woke up. But if Free Willy was left to die their precious luggage with all their belongings would also be eaten.
The knights, for all their bravery, chose option one. If they had paid just a tiny bit of attention to their sword combat teacher they would have also made a go at option one but just do what it was meant: grab the rucksack and feed Free Willy to the hippodragon rather than fight it and then save their luggage. This case was not to be a hero like what the knights were stupidly doing but to think before you do so.
However it was too late for the knights to branch to that other semi-option. They were just too pigheaded, with their minds full of fame and glory.
"WAKE UP, HIPPODRAGON, OR TASTE OUR BLADES!" bellowed Sir Lancelot as he stupidly waved his glittery sword in the air at the irritated hippodragon, who had been rudely woken up. (I slightly feel sorry for the sword more than the knights and Free Willy's lives put together because although the sword was finely made, its fate ended up in some hippodragon's stomach due to carelessness of its worthless owner).
Sir Percival was also in klutz mode and he too was being a fool. The hippodragon rolled his eyes and thought,'Tryhards'.
With a shake of its gigantic head thinking of such embarrassing ambushers, it opened its mouth at an eighth of its full potential and gave a small breath. The breath was tiny but the impact was huge. A fireball the size of its body roared out and fired towards the knights who were still yelling stupid catchphrases.
"Die beast!"
"I will make you rue the day you ever existed!"
"I will behead that foul head of yours!"
"FOR WE ARE THE... AAAAARGH!"
The knights groaned in pain and dropped their burning swords. The fireball magically vanished in thin air and the hippodragon lunged effortlessly. It dropped a fierce paw with claws on top of the knights so they were caged in. Then it ate the swords without fear of getting stabbed on the inside. With a snap of its jaws it also swallowed Free Willy whole.
Chapter 4 - The Wussy Future King
Back in Camelot, King Arthur shot out of his bed, screaming.
"Merlin! Merlin! MERLIN!" Merlin toddled in, his face looking aghast which suited his wrinkly striped nightgown.
"What is it, my lord?" gasped Merlin. "I came as fast as I could. Well, that is, as fast as an old man can run."
Arthur sat up in his bed, shaking.
"Merlin, I had the worst dream EVER! It was like, this dragon-like dragon ate a peasant by the looks of it and captured... Sir Lancelot and Sir Percival! Oh Merlin what should I do... I am supposed to be their King. After all, Sir Lancelot has always been ever so kind to me and Sir Percival was the best comforter on the job besides Guinevere and now I can do nothing! Nothing! Oh Merlin slap me!"
Merlin was ever so pleased to finally teach this sissy Arthur a manly lesson, and punched him in the face. Arthur, who had never experienced a slap, thought a slap meant getting punched.
"Merlin what's a punch like then?" asked Arthur curiously. Merlin was surprised that Arthur, for all his bimbo-ness didn't get angry when he was punched.
"Uh, you get a knife and stab," smirked Merlin evily. Arthur nodded and threw his bed covers off his body.
"Well I thank you very much Merlin for hitting me, for now I can get a hold of myself. If I didn't, you would have 'punched' me." Nodding with a satisfied look, Arthur turned to the old man, stroking his blonde beard.
"Merlin, the creature that hurt my dear knights and ate a worthless peasant was dragon-like but it wasn't a dragon. Merlin, do you know something that looks like a dragon but isn't one?"
"Yes, I do. The beast is called the hippodragon which is a dragon but roars like an eagle. It can breathe fire with the slightest of breath which makes it a five star-rated biohazard. Their stomach digestion is legendary; it can digest the sharpest of swords but strangely it cannot digest a human; that is, if it was digested whole and not crunched before being swallowed. So there's a chance the peasant will live..." stated Merlin idly, who was also stroking his long silver beard.
Arthur glared blankly at the wizard.
"Huh?"
Merlin sighed. There is one thing for which Arthur is laughed at the most: his attention span. He cannot hold his mind to concentrate for more than three seconds. Any further and he would have ripped a big one. A really big one. Arthur's wind expulsion was more legendary than all the knights at the Round Table and the Excalibur's reputations put together; both ways. Basically this made Arthur famous but in a bad way.
Children of the nobles would say, "Look mama, I don't like it there. Mister Arthur beats us ALL the time in farting and burping competitions when we dine. So can we stay at the city and watch jousting rather than suffocate from Arthur's after-effects of wind expulsion?" And of course the mother would sigh and say:"Very well. Have it your way." So yeah, Arthur was a good-for-wind-expulsion-but-nothing-else king of Camelot.
"We need Guinevere for the job," suggested Merlin who knew the consequences of sending Arthur to a quest which was instant death. Queen Guinevere was the smarter and wittier person for the job than Arthur. She was very skilled in both combat and strategising and because of that Merlin sent for her on behalf of Arthur. Guinevere was still mad at the king and the wizard when she stalked grumpily for her belongings.
"Why couldn't you save it till morning? I mean there might be a small chance they're alive. Besides, who wants those knights alive anyway?"
"I do," said Arthur proudly. Guinevere rolled her eyes and picked up her bag.
"You are so unaware of what's happening around you. You KNOW what those knights are like: mean, rude, unpleasant and..."
"I thought you had an affair with Sir Lancelot," said Arthur slyly.
"Oh wake up and smell my shoes. That was AGES ago. I'm engaged to you remember?"
"When was that?" asked Arthur incredulously. Guinevere gawked at him but dropped the whole case.
"Okay Arthur, Merlin also told me to get the Excalibur so you can slay the hippodragon with it!"
"Ooh, does that mean I have to punch the hippodragon?"
"Merlin! Merlin! MERLIN!" Merlin toddled in, his face looking aghast which suited his wrinkly striped nightgown.
"What is it, my lord?" gasped Merlin. "I came as fast as I could. Well, that is, as fast as an old man can run."
Arthur sat up in his bed, shaking.
"Merlin, I had the worst dream EVER! It was like, this dragon-like dragon ate a peasant by the looks of it and captured... Sir Lancelot and Sir Percival! Oh Merlin what should I do... I am supposed to be their King. After all, Sir Lancelot has always been ever so kind to me and Sir Percival was the best comforter on the job besides Guinevere and now I can do nothing! Nothing! Oh Merlin slap me!"
Merlin was ever so pleased to finally teach this sissy Arthur a manly lesson, and punched him in the face. Arthur, who had never experienced a slap, thought a slap meant getting punched.
"Merlin what's a punch like then?" asked Arthur curiously. Merlin was surprised that Arthur, for all his bimbo-ness didn't get angry when he was punched.
"Uh, you get a knife and stab," smirked Merlin evily. Arthur nodded and threw his bed covers off his body.
"Well I thank you very much Merlin for hitting me, for now I can get a hold of myself. If I didn't, you would have 'punched' me." Nodding with a satisfied look, Arthur turned to the old man, stroking his blonde beard.
"Merlin, the creature that hurt my dear knights and ate a worthless peasant was dragon-like but it wasn't a dragon. Merlin, do you know something that looks like a dragon but isn't one?"
"Yes, I do. The beast is called the hippodragon which is a dragon but roars like an eagle. It can breathe fire with the slightest of breath which makes it a five star-rated biohazard. Their stomach digestion is legendary; it can digest the sharpest of swords but strangely it cannot digest a human; that is, if it was digested whole and not crunched before being swallowed. So there's a chance the peasant will live..." stated Merlin idly, who was also stroking his long silver beard.
Arthur glared blankly at the wizard.
"Huh?"
Merlin sighed. There is one thing for which Arthur is laughed at the most: his attention span. He cannot hold his mind to concentrate for more than three seconds. Any further and he would have ripped a big one. A really big one. Arthur's wind expulsion was more legendary than all the knights at the Round Table and the Excalibur's reputations put together; both ways. Basically this made Arthur famous but in a bad way.
Children of the nobles would say, "Look mama, I don't like it there. Mister Arthur beats us ALL the time in farting and burping competitions when we dine. So can we stay at the city and watch jousting rather than suffocate from Arthur's after-effects of wind expulsion?" And of course the mother would sigh and say:"Very well. Have it your way." So yeah, Arthur was a good-for-wind-expulsion-but-nothing-else king of Camelot.
"We need Guinevere for the job," suggested Merlin who knew the consequences of sending Arthur to a quest which was instant death. Queen Guinevere was the smarter and wittier person for the job than Arthur. She was very skilled in both combat and strategising and because of that Merlin sent for her on behalf of Arthur. Guinevere was still mad at the king and the wizard when she stalked grumpily for her belongings.
"Why couldn't you save it till morning? I mean there might be a small chance they're alive. Besides, who wants those knights alive anyway?"
"I do," said Arthur proudly. Guinevere rolled her eyes and picked up her bag.
"You are so unaware of what's happening around you. You KNOW what those knights are like: mean, rude, unpleasant and..."
"I thought you had an affair with Sir Lancelot," said Arthur slyly.
"Oh wake up and smell my shoes. That was AGES ago. I'm engaged to you remember?"
"When was that?" asked Arthur incredulously. Guinevere gawked at him but dropped the whole case.
"Okay Arthur, Merlin also told me to get the Excalibur so you can slay the hippodragon with it!"
"Ooh, does that mean I have to punch the hippodragon?"
Chapter 5 - The Sword
Back in the hippodragon's cave/lair, the knights were struggling to free themselves from the long posts the hippodragon had magically bound them to. The hippodragon watched as they tried to break free from the unbreakable rope.
"Fools, you know that this type of rope is impossible to get free from," sneered the hippodragon. The knights ignorantly pretended to have not heard of it and continued their desperate struggle which was indeed impossible.
"Will you eat us?" asked Sir Lancelot after giving up from the rope. The hippodragon responded with a roar of tremendous laughter.
"No, young knights, of course not. I have to call in the trolls for this one; after all I can't see how you would taste any better than that beggar." The knights traded alarmed looks at each other; something they should have exchanged when they first saw the hippodragon. Certainly, the idea of being eaten by trolls was as bad as being eaten by a hippodragon that already made a dinner of Free Willy.
"HELP! SOMEBODY! WE'RE GOING TO BE EATEN BY TROOOOOOLS!!! HEEEEEEEEEELP!" shrieked Sir Percival.
"Percival, you gave me an idea!" exclaimed Sir Lancelot suddenly.
"I did?"
"Yes!! We could scream as damsels in distress! That's sure to attract royal bachelors," said Sir Lancelot excitedly.
"One thing Sir Lancelot, WE'RE NOT DAMSELS!" snapped Sir Percival. The hippodragon turned his scaly head in the direction of the knights in plain interest.
"Did I just hear the word 'damsel'?" said the hippodragon, "Because I have heard of that too. I have eaten...let's see... 47 damsels. Yes, that's right! 47!"
"47?" whispered Sir Lancelot faintly. The hippodragon rubbed its imaginary goatee.
"Well, you still have a chance. I mean...there are going to be 47 bachelors after my blood so you can get them to help you...That is if you are a woman though..."
"We are NOT going to crossdress," insisted Sir Percival firmly.
"Have it your way. I mean, if I were you I'd wait for a lady savior although it might look wrong," said the hippodragon.
***
"Arthur, hurry up," barked Guinevere at the poor, tottering Arthur. Arthur trembled as he clung onto the boat. Apparently, he was too scared to even let go of the boat to jump in the lake and search for his destined sword, the Excalibur.
Guinevere turned to bribery and persuasion.
"Arthur, do you want to lose your dear knights to a hippodragon's stomach?" 'soothed' Guinevere.
"Uwawawawaaaaa!"
Arthur slipped from the boat and splashed into the cold water. After several silent minutes, Arthur emerged from the surface, gripping his beloved Excalibur.
"Thank you Excalibur!" beamed Arthur at the talking sword.
"I was having a pool party with the clams when you just pop out of nowhere and grab me," groused Excalibur. "So who's the party pooper?"
Arthur crawled back into the boat, gripping Guinevere's supporting hand.
"A hippodragon." Excalibur wiggled with displeasure and concern.
"Sounds exciting enough."
"Fools, you know that this type of rope is impossible to get free from," sneered the hippodragon. The knights ignorantly pretended to have not heard of it and continued their desperate struggle which was indeed impossible.
"Will you eat us?" asked Sir Lancelot after giving up from the rope. The hippodragon responded with a roar of tremendous laughter.
"No, young knights, of course not. I have to call in the trolls for this one; after all I can't see how you would taste any better than that beggar." The knights traded alarmed looks at each other; something they should have exchanged when they first saw the hippodragon. Certainly, the idea of being eaten by trolls was as bad as being eaten by a hippodragon that already made a dinner of Free Willy.
"HELP! SOMEBODY! WE'RE GOING TO BE EATEN BY TROOOOOOLS!!! HEEEEEEEEEELP!" shrieked Sir Percival.
"Percival, you gave me an idea!" exclaimed Sir Lancelot suddenly.
"I did?"
"Yes!! We could scream as damsels in distress! That's sure to attract royal bachelors," said Sir Lancelot excitedly.
"One thing Sir Lancelot, WE'RE NOT DAMSELS!" snapped Sir Percival. The hippodragon turned his scaly head in the direction of the knights in plain interest.
"Did I just hear the word 'damsel'?" said the hippodragon, "Because I have heard of that too. I have eaten...let's see... 47 damsels. Yes, that's right! 47!"
"47?" whispered Sir Lancelot faintly. The hippodragon rubbed its imaginary goatee.
"Well, you still have a chance. I mean...there are going to be 47 bachelors after my blood so you can get them to help you...That is if you are a woman though..."
"We are NOT going to crossdress," insisted Sir Percival firmly.
"Have it your way. I mean, if I were you I'd wait for a lady savior although it might look wrong," said the hippodragon.
***
"Arthur, hurry up," barked Guinevere at the poor, tottering Arthur. Arthur trembled as he clung onto the boat. Apparently, he was too scared to even let go of the boat to jump in the lake and search for his destined sword, the Excalibur.
Guinevere turned to bribery and persuasion.
"Arthur, do you want to lose your dear knights to a hippodragon's stomach?" 'soothed' Guinevere.
"Uwawawawaaaaa!"
Arthur slipped from the boat and splashed into the cold water. After several silent minutes, Arthur emerged from the surface, gripping his beloved Excalibur.
"Thank you Excalibur!" beamed Arthur at the talking sword.
"I was having a pool party with the clams when you just pop out of nowhere and grab me," groused Excalibur. "So who's the party pooper?"
Arthur crawled back into the boat, gripping Guinevere's supporting hand.
"A hippodragon." Excalibur wiggled with displeasure and concern.
"Sounds exciting enough."
Chapter 6 - The Search through the Forest
"Okay, listen up momma's boy, you've got limited time to place me in your hands, knowing that I'm gonna end up in some weird place like last time because that careless old crone, Merlin, threw me away. That's right. I, a blessed sword was dumped in some frigging pond, so you listen here. I'll be taking the case in my own hands even though I have none. But still. Listen to MY decisions and follow MY orders through MY instincts. If you do anything funny I'll slash that pretty face off your sissy-like head."
Arthur gulped as he faced Excalibur's bitter and cold fury. He remembered the last time he had the Excalibur but it got disposed of in the lake of.... Anyway, the point was that the indeed careless Merlin threw the sword a bit too brutally, triggering an emotional outbreak for the sword. Since then, Excalibur wasted its few but bitter days in the cold muddy lake floor with the few but friendly company of fish and other lake creatures sliding in the mud. Arthur gulped and watched as Excalibur wiggled with grim satisfaction.
Without another word, it slid itself in Arthur's leather belt under his embroidered cloak. Guinevere snorted also with satisfaction and began rowing the oars back to the lake's shore (Arthur was too weak to do such labour).
"You know, I'm surprised the citizens of Camelot still respect and love you," muttered Guinevere savagely as she hauled the oars back and forth.
"Its not the looks that count but the heart which they desire and respect," replied Arthur shortly. Guinevere sneered.
"Oh, come off it, if they saw me doing the labour right now they would have abandoned your pitiful life."
Arthur sniffed sulkily and clutched the Excalibur more tightly.
"Well I'm sorry your AWESOMENESS, but if you haven't noticed I CAN have you arrested for saying such things." Guinevere merely scoffed and continued to row the boat slowly to the land. After a fair while of moaning and grunting, Guinevere and Arthur leapt out of the swaying boat and continued forth towards their destination.
"So um... where do you suppose we look, now that we have Excalibur?" asked Arthur fervently. Guinevere raised a delicate eyebrow and thought for a few seconds.
Even for a witty queen like her, to find a hippodragon holding two knights hostage in the middle of a huge and dark forest was no easy think-and-click-your-fingers matter. It was more of a think-again question and Guinevere could only think of a few feeble suggestions. Arthur was no good at this task, as pondering on such an idea to the half unanswerable question was fatal to his mental and digestive health. After a few minutes of lip gnawing, all of a sudden Guinevere clapped her hands. That gave Arthur a fright.
"I've got it!" cried Guinevere. "Why don't we simply ASK the Excalibur to connect to the hippodragon. Then Excalibur will be able to locate where the hippodragon is and we can track it down! Now why didn't I think of that?"
"I am not with this lady," sighed Arthur to the Excalibur. The sword leapt out of the belt and wiggled with importance.
"Wonderful idea, Guinevere. If I knew better you would have made a better sword wielder, more worthy of my blade than this dimwit of a king."
"Wa- HEY!" exclaimed the king.
"Well it's true, to be honest," said Guinevere. "I COULD have been the wielder of the Excalibur."
"Well then, are we going to sit around and gloat about how you're better than me with Excalibur than actually finding my knights?" growled Arthur jealously.
"Yes, yes, to business," sighed Excalibur and then the sword balanced on its tip, quite still and silent.
It was a phenomenon that linked Excalibur to the hippodragon because it all began 50 years ago. When Excalibur was forged, it was heated to shape by a hippodragon since it was blackmailed by King Arthur. For the king wanted an unbeatable sword and Merlin rather reluctantly told him the process of making it. However due to the sword's invincibility, people began to fear their king who frequently asked for challenges from other kingdoms. Arthur soon realised (for it took quite a while for a dimwit of a king to notice) that nobody challenged him and people in the streets began to cringe away in fear as he took a stroll through town.
Angry and disappointed, Arthur commanded Merlin to dispose of the Excalibur so that people would love him as they always should. Of course, the hippodragon didn't notice but the connection that kept it sane between itself and the Excalibur was dormant. And so the hippodragon grew feral for it had its purpose ripped away from it. It chose another purpose, and that was to kidnap princesses and eat them so as to cause grief and devastation around the world.
"Found 'em," grunted Excalibur. Arthur squealed with girly excitement while Guinevere stood up and nodded.
"Lead the way, Excalibur," she ordered and the sword hopped on its tip and began its way into the deep forest. Arthur stopped looking excited and peered anxiously into the forest.
"I-in there? Um, are you sure?" mumbled Arthur as he shuffled nervously on his feet. Guinevere sighed and grabbed Arthur by his arm.
"Yes, in there," she snapped and began pulling Arthur towards the forest. Arthur made a gagging noise with his high-pitched voice as Excalibur barked for them to hurry up.
Arthur gulped as he faced Excalibur's bitter and cold fury. He remembered the last time he had the Excalibur but it got disposed of in the lake of.... Anyway, the point was that the indeed careless Merlin threw the sword a bit too brutally, triggering an emotional outbreak for the sword. Since then, Excalibur wasted its few but bitter days in the cold muddy lake floor with the few but friendly company of fish and other lake creatures sliding in the mud. Arthur gulped and watched as Excalibur wiggled with grim satisfaction.
Without another word, it slid itself in Arthur's leather belt under his embroidered cloak. Guinevere snorted also with satisfaction and began rowing the oars back to the lake's shore (Arthur was too weak to do such labour).
"You know, I'm surprised the citizens of Camelot still respect and love you," muttered Guinevere savagely as she hauled the oars back and forth.
"Its not the looks that count but the heart which they desire and respect," replied Arthur shortly. Guinevere sneered.
"Oh, come off it, if they saw me doing the labour right now they would have abandoned your pitiful life."
Arthur sniffed sulkily and clutched the Excalibur more tightly.
"Well I'm sorry your AWESOMENESS, but if you haven't noticed I CAN have you arrested for saying such things." Guinevere merely scoffed and continued to row the boat slowly to the land. After a fair while of moaning and grunting, Guinevere and Arthur leapt out of the swaying boat and continued forth towards their destination.
"So um... where do you suppose we look, now that we have Excalibur?" asked Arthur fervently. Guinevere raised a delicate eyebrow and thought for a few seconds.
Even for a witty queen like her, to find a hippodragon holding two knights hostage in the middle of a huge and dark forest was no easy think-and-click-your-fingers matter. It was more of a think-again question and Guinevere could only think of a few feeble suggestions. Arthur was no good at this task, as pondering on such an idea to the half unanswerable question was fatal to his mental and digestive health. After a few minutes of lip gnawing, all of a sudden Guinevere clapped her hands. That gave Arthur a fright.
"I've got it!" cried Guinevere. "Why don't we simply ASK the Excalibur to connect to the hippodragon. Then Excalibur will be able to locate where the hippodragon is and we can track it down! Now why didn't I think of that?"
"I am not with this lady," sighed Arthur to the Excalibur. The sword leapt out of the belt and wiggled with importance.
"Wonderful idea, Guinevere. If I knew better you would have made a better sword wielder, more worthy of my blade than this dimwit of a king."
"Wa- HEY!" exclaimed the king.
"Well it's true, to be honest," said Guinevere. "I COULD have been the wielder of the Excalibur."
"Well then, are we going to sit around and gloat about how you're better than me with Excalibur than actually finding my knights?" growled Arthur jealously.
"Yes, yes, to business," sighed Excalibur and then the sword balanced on its tip, quite still and silent.
It was a phenomenon that linked Excalibur to the hippodragon because it all began 50 years ago. When Excalibur was forged, it was heated to shape by a hippodragon since it was blackmailed by King Arthur. For the king wanted an unbeatable sword and Merlin rather reluctantly told him the process of making it. However due to the sword's invincibility, people began to fear their king who frequently asked for challenges from other kingdoms. Arthur soon realised (for it took quite a while for a dimwit of a king to notice) that nobody challenged him and people in the streets began to cringe away in fear as he took a stroll through town.
Angry and disappointed, Arthur commanded Merlin to dispose of the Excalibur so that people would love him as they always should. Of course, the hippodragon didn't notice but the connection that kept it sane between itself and the Excalibur was dormant. And so the hippodragon grew feral for it had its purpose ripped away from it. It chose another purpose, and that was to kidnap princesses and eat them so as to cause grief and devastation around the world.
"Found 'em," grunted Excalibur. Arthur squealed with girly excitement while Guinevere stood up and nodded.
"Lead the way, Excalibur," she ordered and the sword hopped on its tip and began its way into the deep forest. Arthur stopped looking excited and peered anxiously into the forest.
"I-in there? Um, are you sure?" mumbled Arthur as he shuffled nervously on his feet. Guinevere sighed and grabbed Arthur by his arm.
"Yes, in there," she snapped and began pulling Arthur towards the forest. Arthur made a gagging noise with his high-pitched voice as Excalibur barked for them to hurry up.
Chapter 7 - The Rescue
Sir Lancelot sighed and continued his weak struggle for freedom. Sir Percival however, continued to glare suspiciously at the hippodragon, who was now helping himself to a tree branch. Apparently, the true reason why the hippodragon refused to eat humans was because he gave up after tasting the horrible bitterness of Free Willy. Now he was on a strict vegetarian diet that consisted of forest trees and shrubs.
"Are you sure you don't want to end our miserable lives with just one quick bite?" said Percival weakly. The hippodragon rolled his bulbous eyes and continued to chew on the branch.
"I told you puny humans that some trolls will do the job. Though it won't just be one quick bite," smirked the hippodragon. It gave another chew on the branch rather thoughtfully as he observed the knights' reactions.
"We won't give up now! Not ever! Not to some trolls-" began Sir Lancelot abruptly.
"THAT ARE COMING OUR WAY!!! LANCELOT, THEY'RE COMING!!! THE TROLLS!" screamed Sir Percival, staring fearfully in the direction of some sudden rustling nearby.
"Oh, that might be them," said the hippodragon simply. Lancelot who was tied the other way could not see what was slowly nearing them but he continued his desperate struggle with Percival panicking slightly.
"Quit struggling, I'm trying to think of an escape plan!" said Sir Percival loudly. The hippodragon stopped his chewing and stared intently at his prisoners.
"An escape plan? That's clearly impossible but I'd like to see you try for your desperate struggle for survival..."
Sir Percival continued muttering under his breath while Sir Lancelot battled fruitlessly against the enchanted rope that bound him from escape. The rustling of the bushes, the crashing of leaves and clanking sounds of approach was making the hippodragon chew his branch even faster.
Suddenly, the branches parted and the figures emerged from the shadows and before he could identify them, Sir Lancelot screamed: "SWEET MOTHER-" that echoed throughout the forest. The hippodragon however had sprung to its feet, dropping the branch next to it. It hissed and snarled as it noticed that the newcomers weren't whom it expected. Sir Percival raised his head in surprise and bliss and almost cried at the incomers with relief.
"Guinevere! Excalibur!-" he called eagerly. Until he spotted Arthur. "Uhhh...Arthur too?" Arthur looked up and grinned stupidly at Percival who had called his name.
"Yes that's right! King Arthur Pendragon will save his noble and loyal knights as they had done the same!" bellowed Arthur, pulling Excalibur from Guinevere's grasp and waving it in front of him. Sir Lancelot, who had been in shock for a few seconds, heard Arthur's ridiculous words and snorted with ridicule.
Sir Percival who would take anybody to be his savior from getting eaten by trolls, harshly nudged Sir Lancelot in the back who was holding his laughter to some obvious degree.
"Shut it!" he hissed. "Be grateful these people are even here to save our skins!" Sir Lancelot looked up and snorted again.
"It isn't those people. It's Arth-" Sir Lancelot groaned. "NOW what's he doing?!" Arthur was on his feet waving Excalibur with little control, his determined eyes aligned with the hippodragon's like just how Lancelot had done.
"Unhand my noble knights, you foul beast of trickery and evil craftiness," called Arthur at the hippodragon.
"Oh god, that is a GAAAAY line," muttered Sir Percival who gave himself an imaginary face palm since his hands were bound together behind his back.
"Can't disagree on that, mein freund," agreed Sir Lancelot with a rebuking sneer. Excalibur was in a disgruntled distress, yelling at Arthur who continued to wave it while ignoring them.
"You fool! Put me down, you! Hippodragon fire is enchanted with an all-melting combat charm!" screeched Excalibur.
Guinevere knew instantly what was coming, unlike Arthur. She pounced on Arthur a split second before a fireball of red and orange light burst towards them from the enraged hippodragon. The fireball missed the pair by a few inches but the heat was intense; almost searing Excalibur as it passed. The fireball magically vanished into thin air and Guinevere staggered after standing up, covered in beads of sweat. KING Arthur however remained untouched and unharmed.
"Dang, he missed!" whined Sir Lancelot. His voice faltered as Guinevere cast a piercing look at him before turning to Arthur who was whimpering and crying like a baby on the forest floor.
"I think she heard you," hissed Sir Percival. Guinevere pulled Excalibur from Arthur's reach and drew it skilfully towards the hippodragon. Both Sirs whistled and Guinevere rolled her eyes as she stepped forward, confronting the surprised hippodragon.
"I heard from a few rumours that you were going to marry a whimp like him," it said looking carelessly at Arthur who was rocking back and forth on the ground, sucking his thumb.
"Who gossiped about something like that?" said Guinevere sharply not blinking as she glared piercingly at the hippodragon's still figure.
"Oh a few passerbys I ate last week," it replied carelessly. Guinevere sighed as she stepped forward, ready to attack any moment possible.
"Unfortunately...it's so true."
"Are you sure you don't want to end our miserable lives with just one quick bite?" said Percival weakly. The hippodragon rolled his bulbous eyes and continued to chew on the branch.
"I told you puny humans that some trolls will do the job. Though it won't just be one quick bite," smirked the hippodragon. It gave another chew on the branch rather thoughtfully as he observed the knights' reactions.
"We won't give up now! Not ever! Not to some trolls-" began Sir Lancelot abruptly.
"THAT ARE COMING OUR WAY!!! LANCELOT, THEY'RE COMING!!! THE TROLLS!" screamed Sir Percival, staring fearfully in the direction of some sudden rustling nearby.
"Oh, that might be them," said the hippodragon simply. Lancelot who was tied the other way could not see what was slowly nearing them but he continued his desperate struggle with Percival panicking slightly.
"Quit struggling, I'm trying to think of an escape plan!" said Sir Percival loudly. The hippodragon stopped his chewing and stared intently at his prisoners.
"An escape plan? That's clearly impossible but I'd like to see you try for your desperate struggle for survival..."
Sir Percival continued muttering under his breath while Sir Lancelot battled fruitlessly against the enchanted rope that bound him from escape. The rustling of the bushes, the crashing of leaves and clanking sounds of approach was making the hippodragon chew his branch even faster.
Suddenly, the branches parted and the figures emerged from the shadows and before he could identify them, Sir Lancelot screamed: "SWEET MOTHER-" that echoed throughout the forest. The hippodragon however had sprung to its feet, dropping the branch next to it. It hissed and snarled as it noticed that the newcomers weren't whom it expected. Sir Percival raised his head in surprise and bliss and almost cried at the incomers with relief.
"Guinevere! Excalibur!-" he called eagerly. Until he spotted Arthur. "Uhhh...Arthur too?" Arthur looked up and grinned stupidly at Percival who had called his name.
"Yes that's right! King Arthur Pendragon will save his noble and loyal knights as they had done the same!" bellowed Arthur, pulling Excalibur from Guinevere's grasp and waving it in front of him. Sir Lancelot, who had been in shock for a few seconds, heard Arthur's ridiculous words and snorted with ridicule.
Sir Percival who would take anybody to be his savior from getting eaten by trolls, harshly nudged Sir Lancelot in the back who was holding his laughter to some obvious degree.
"Shut it!" he hissed. "Be grateful these people are even here to save our skins!" Sir Lancelot looked up and snorted again.
"It isn't those people. It's Arth-" Sir Lancelot groaned. "NOW what's he doing?!" Arthur was on his feet waving Excalibur with little control, his determined eyes aligned with the hippodragon's like just how Lancelot had done.
"Unhand my noble knights, you foul beast of trickery and evil craftiness," called Arthur at the hippodragon.
"Oh god, that is a GAAAAY line," muttered Sir Percival who gave himself an imaginary face palm since his hands were bound together behind his back.
"Can't disagree on that, mein freund," agreed Sir Lancelot with a rebuking sneer. Excalibur was in a disgruntled distress, yelling at Arthur who continued to wave it while ignoring them.
"You fool! Put me down, you! Hippodragon fire is enchanted with an all-melting combat charm!" screeched Excalibur.
Guinevere knew instantly what was coming, unlike Arthur. She pounced on Arthur a split second before a fireball of red and orange light burst towards them from the enraged hippodragon. The fireball missed the pair by a few inches but the heat was intense; almost searing Excalibur as it passed. The fireball magically vanished into thin air and Guinevere staggered after standing up, covered in beads of sweat. KING Arthur however remained untouched and unharmed.
"Dang, he missed!" whined Sir Lancelot. His voice faltered as Guinevere cast a piercing look at him before turning to Arthur who was whimpering and crying like a baby on the forest floor.
"I think she heard you," hissed Sir Percival. Guinevere pulled Excalibur from Arthur's reach and drew it skilfully towards the hippodragon. Both Sirs whistled and Guinevere rolled her eyes as she stepped forward, confronting the surprised hippodragon.
"I heard from a few rumours that you were going to marry a whimp like him," it said looking carelessly at Arthur who was rocking back and forth on the ground, sucking his thumb.
"Who gossiped about something like that?" said Guinevere sharply not blinking as she glared piercingly at the hippodragon's still figure.
"Oh a few passerbys I ate last week," it replied carelessly. Guinevere sighed as she stepped forward, ready to attack any moment possible.
"Unfortunately...it's so true."